Long December

Every year, I wish the same wish – that I could go to sleep on December 1 and wake up on December 31, just in time to welcome in the new year.

Sometimes, December feels easier and sometimes it feels more difficult.

I know there are things that I can do to make December better for myself. One of them is blogging, something that I have not been doing for quite a while.

So, I'm going to try to post at least a few times this month. I've been thinking about a lot of things (as usual) and maybe it is time to start trying to put some of those thoughts into words.

In the meantime, here is a link to my ever-growing, end-of-year, YouTube playlist. These are the songs that comfort, console and keep me company through this dark, dark month. Perhaps they will improve December for you, too:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUCTQC2TUoqBl3DQ5x7IgBY7tFJdnhXgI

You are here (Happy New Year)

I'm a fan of fresh starts. And while I believe that it is possible to make a fresh start at any time, the beginning of the calendar year always feels to me like a special opportunity.

I have been feeling stuck for a long time, wishing I could change things that are beyond my control —wishing to change the past, wishing to change other people.

I have been unable to let go and accept. I have tried many times only to fall back and admit that I was still hooked, still angry, still disappointed, still hurt, still wishing I could change the outcome of past events.

Let this new year be a truly new year for me. Let me embrace what is and release what is not.

There is only the present moment. The only person I have a hope of changing is myself (and that's difficult enough).

Here I am in the present moment. I have a job to do — to be myself on my own path. I need to forgive myself for getting lost, for betraying my own authenticity and autonomy. I choose to recommit to myself in each present moment. 

Here is a moment. And here is another. And I am here. In these moments. Free to be myself (honour authenticity). Free to make my own choices (honour autonomy).

This feels like a challenge. And I believe that it is possible.

That makes me very, very lucky.

And for that, I am very, very grateful.

The Move: Part 6 (Hey Bus Driver, Speed up a LIttle Bit!)

Nothing about the pace of this move is going as planned.

First, I moved my living quarters into the Tiny House a couple of weeks early, because I wanted to give my cat a home, without him having to move more often than absolutely necessary.

Yesterday, during a party and after telling about 30 kindly interested people that I had my rental place until May 31, I received a message from my landlord, asking me if it would be possible to be out on April 30 instead of May 31. He has other tenants lined up, which is great, as it is not always easy to fill rentals out here, but the tenants would ideally like to be in on the first of May rather than the first of June.

The next tenants are currently under-housed and I see no reason to withhold adequate housing from people for a month just so I can have the nice leisurely move I had imagined. Fortunately, I don't have much desk work today or tomorrow; all my layout/design clients seem to be chill for the holiday weekend. So, I will get in up to my elbows with the sorting and discarding tasks that await me.

It will not be easy. It is scary in there. While I was so busy over the past couple of months, I dumped everything on the floor thinking, "I'll deal with that in the move."And, when some folks moving into the neighbourhood bought a lot of my furniture, all of the contents of said furniture went on to the floor.

I include a photo or my rental space which may horrify some and delight others:

And here is a picture of the Tiny House in it's current minimal (and rather messy) set up (I'm thinking of moving the bed to the other end of the house...):

Wish me luck with the move, and don't forget that I'm having two events a week from today – a sale of excess items at the West Dublin Hall during the Market from 9-1 and a concert to fundraise for Tiny Home infrastructure in the evening at 8pm, also at the West Dublin Hall. I'd love to see you on April 26!