The Difference Between Buying a House and Buying a Tiny House

I have not always been poor and rural.

My life has gone through a number of socio-economic phases. I started off as a middle-class urban kid, transitioned to being a poor rural kid, then I was a working-class (but educated) urban young adult, then a middle-class urban adult and now I'm a rural adult artist (more fun than working- or middle-class, but much less financially stable than either).

Almost ten years ago, back when I was a yuppie, I bought a house in Toronto with my then partner. Now, I can't even fathom how I had the gall to do that. That house cost more than 30 times what I paid for my tiny home last month. It was a relatively inexpensive Toronto house, in a neighbourhood that was gentrifying, but still fairly working class. The house was nice and big: 3 bedrooms, 1.5 baths; it had great lines, fit our furniture and was relatively easy to heat. We bought top-of-the-line stainless steel appliances and settled in for the duration. We thought.

We both had decent jobs (my then partner's job was particularly well-paid), and we figured we could carry it. And, financially, it was manageable.

It seemed like a dream come true, owning a Toronto house in our mid-thirties. But let me tell you, buying and owning that house was incredibly stressful. We fought about buying it. We fought about how to paint it. We fought about whether to buy a giant flat-screen TV to put in the living room. We fought about how to pay for it all.

And, in the end, we fought ourselves right out of love with each other. (Admittedly, it was not only about the house. There were some other issues that I won't get into here. If you want a general sense of what the end of that relationship was like, you can listen to the break-up album I wrote about that and some of my other relationships here: Love Bites on Bandcamp).

But at the core, there was something that went wrong in that relationship that was directly related to the house. We didn't own that house. The house owned us and after a couple of years, the house, and the stuff inside it, had become more important than loving and supporting one another. I couldn't tolerate the hollowness of it. I couldn't love a house instead of a human being.

It was such a relief for me to walk away from that house, that mortgage and that relationship.

I am struck by the contrast with my experience of buying my tiny home. I feel like I can love this little dwelling. It's almost small enough to hug. And I can afford it (thanks to a kind, informal, interest-free family loan - thank you! thank you!). No stress. No arguments. And, since it isn't big enough for another person to stay for more than a few days: no risk of territorial disputes.

This house is the right house for me. At 232 square feet, it is just the right size. It isn't about impressing anybody. It isn't about all of the "supposed to's" of home ownership. It has everything I need and nothing I don't need.

The Great De-Stuffing Part 2: Farewell Furniture and... Paper?

The Great De-Stuffing continues, somewhat hampered by the terribly cold weather we're having in Nova Scotia. I've been closing off the upstairs of the house so that the wood stove has a better chance of heating the living room and kitchen, and that means that some days it is simply too cold to do any sorting work upstairs and I'm forced to sit downstairs by the fire, crocheting and watching Portlandia. Forced, I tell you.

Despite the cold, though, things have started to leave my house. Fortunately, some of my friends are moving into new homes at the same time as I am trying to get rid of lots of my stuff. One of my friends came and took two of my bookshelves (of the seven I own). And other friends are coming, probably next week, to take away a bureau, desk, filing cabinet and two other bookshelves.

This feels exciting. I will get a chance to experiment with living with my clothes in baskets tucked under my bed, before I even get into my Tiny Home. I'm hoping this will help me choose what to keep and what to sell/gift/donate or, as a last resort, throw away.

Of course, for now, the contents of these pieces of furniture are spilling out on to the floor. I'm planning some kind of massive sale/donation/gift-a-thon in the spring, but I have to sort everything first and that is going to be the true challenge. I'm not attached to most of my furniture. Very little of it came with me from Toronto, so it's mostly odds and end that I have picked up in the past three years. I will have enough room in the Tiny Home for the pieces that are important and/or sentimental to me: my bed, desk, one bookshelf and an arm chair/ottoman combo. But the "stuff" is much harder to deal with. I'm very attached to most of it, since it survived the big sort I did before I moved here from Toronto.

And, at the same time, I'm excited to let go of it.

For some reason this week, people keep posting on FB and sending me links to videos and blog posts (like this one) about how overwhelming modern society is for our little human brains. That's how I feel about my stuff, especially the paper. It overwhelms me. Sure, some of it is necessary. As the sole proprietor of the business of my life, I have to keep records. But most of it is outdated. I have, for example, all of the statements for a pension plan I left behind in 2002. I've held on to a lot of paper like that out of a habit that pre-dates the ready availability of information on the Internet, and out of a paralysis that has kept me from making a decision about it.

The time has come. The decision is forced.

I predict that there will be a great big document bonfire in my future.

New Year's Rulin's

I'm a resolver. I love New Year's. Mostly because the Christmas season is over for another year, but also because of the fresh start feeling.

Seventy years ago, Woody Guthrie made a list of resolutions called his Rulin's.

Here is my list of Rulin's for 2014:

1. Sing for the love of it
2. Help other people to the best of my ability at all times
3. Be kinder than necessary
4. Pay down debt
5. Save up money to travel to see family
6. Learn how to make a decent loaf of rye bread
7. Revive my practice of starting each day with movement
8. Finish many unfinished projects (especially textile projects)
9. Simplify, simplify, simplify

And that should do it. I can hardly wait.

KIOS: Day 31

What a month it has been! A big thank you to Jamie and Shannon for running the Kickin' It Old Skool Blog-a-Thon! On this, the final day, Jamie and Shannon ask:

What would you like to celebrate about this month and Kickin' It Old Skool?

I'd like to celebrate showing up! I was very, very, VERY busy in the early part of December and I often had to miss days of KIOS and catch up by writing two or three posts together. And I didn't have enough time or energy to read or comment much on other KIOS participants' blogs. That was frustrating for me. But I kept at it, and kept remembering Rule #2: Have Fun! Once I started my vacation, I was able to participate more fully and it has been wonderful getting to know many of the talented writers and creative souls who took up this Blog-a-Thon challenge. 

I'd also like to celebrate my favourite December I can remember. I often struggle at this time of year, and this year I hardly struggled at all - I just accepted that there were limits to what I could do and cut myself a lot of slack. Participating in KIOS at a pace I could handle was a daily reminder of how to be kind to myself and also a welcome injection of fun and heart connections at a hectic time of year. 

I hope we all can do it again next year! 

KIOS: Day 30

Day 30: Favourite Recipes

This is one that I have been craving making for a little while. I thought I would share it because judging from the contents of people's fridges a few days ago, most folks doing KIOS eat pretty healthy and this is healthy, hearty rice dish, easily made in a vegetarian or meaty version, that I adapted from Madhur Jaffrey's recipe for Biryani - which, when I copied it, took the front and back of THREE recipe cards. This is much simpler.

You can double or triple the recipe for the spice blend and save some time the next time you make the dish. Or, use the rice spice in curries, on hash browns, roasted potatoes, steaks, anything really.

Simplified Biryani

Rice Spice:
Grind together in a spice mill or coffee grinder or using a mortar and pestle. Set aside.
5-6 whole cloves
1/2 teaspoon peppercorns
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 teaspoon coriander seeds
1/2 teaspoon cardamom seeds (or 1-2 cardamom pods)
1 inch piece of cinnamon stick
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg (freshly grated, if possible)
1/4 teaspoon cayenne

Main ingredients:
4 cups warm water
1/2 gram saffron
3 Tablespoons vegetable oil (sunflower, canola, whatever you like. I wouldn't recommend olive oil, as its flavour will compete with other flavours in the dish)
1 large onion, chopped fine
4 cloves garlic, minced, pressed or grated
1 inch cube of ginger, minced or grated
2 cups white or brown basmati rice
OPTIONAL: cubed cooked meat (left over lamb or goat roast is THE BEST, but beef, pork or chicken are also good)
1/2 cup whole almonds (unsalted, roasted or raw, whichever you prefer)
1/4 cup dried cranberries
1/3 cup dried apricots, coarsely chopped

Put the saffron in the warm water and allow to steep.

In a heavy pot which has a well-fitting lid, heat the vegetable oil. Add the garlic, onion and ginger and cook until the onion is translucent. Add the Rice Spice and cook, stirring, for 1-2 minutes.

Inhale the lovely aroma. Exhale.

Add the rice and stir well, coating all of the rice with oil. Add the meat, if you are making a carnivorous version of this dish. Add the nuts and dried fruits (please note that you can use a different combination of fruits and nuts if you prefer). Stir well, allowing all the ingredients to be infused with the flavour of the oil and spices.

Add the saffron and water, stirring to loosen any grains of rice that have gotten stuck to the bottom of the pan.

Cover the pan and bring to a boil, then reduce the heat to the lowest possible setting and leave to cook, covered, until the rice is tender and the moisture has been absorbed (usually about 30 minutes).

Serve with plain yoghurt (or a raita made with cucumber, garlic and fresh mint) and garnish with fresh mints leaves or parsley.

Serves 4 (or serves 6-8 as a side dish)

KIOS Day 29

Day 29: Sunday Selfie - Future You

From the Wikimedia Commons. View original image here.

I was baffled about how to capture what I aspire to in a selfie. How can I take a picture of myself as I aspire to be?

So, I went conceptual. Some things I aspire to this year are: 

Freedom from stuff and attachment to stuff
Joy
Creativity (Beauty)
Community
More movement/dancing

These aspirations seem mostly captured in this photo of a field of poppies.

<3

The Beginning of The Great De-Stuffing!

Today is the day I undertake the beginning of The Great De-Stuffing!

This is probably the most daunting aspect of Tiny Living for me.

Here is what my living space looks like right now:

Oh dear. I wonder if I should share this photo. My space looks like it
should be on a Hoarder Intervention TV show. Yikes. Well, I guess it's a
good "before" shot. It gives some indication of the enormity of me
deciding to move in to a Tiny Home.

As you can tell, I'm not the most organized person in the world. I've lived most of my life in the midst of chaotic clutter.

It's all made worse by the fact that I used to live in a three-bedroom home. I was a yuppie. I had lots of stuff. Not too much conspicuous consumption kind of stuff. Mostly art-related (fabric, yarn, musical instruments), plus books and lots and lots of disorganized paper.

Then, I left that three bedroom home and went to live in a tiny urban 1-bedroom apartment. I got rid of a lot of my furniture, but kept most of my stuff. I was attached to it. And I figured the 1-bedroom apartment was temporary.

After three years of living in a packed-to-the-ceiling-apartment, I moved from Toronto to rural Nova Scotia. A friend offered me a lovely loft space in the upstairs of his home (which as you can see above is now terribly cluttered).

I downsized quite a bit for the move (especially my heavy, heavy books!), but since arriving home three years ago, I've been accumulating lots and lots of stuff. People kept giving me things on the understanding that I was planning to set up house-keeping on my own. Every time someone moved house, they gave their extra stuff to me and I took it – thinking I would soon have a house of my own and that this or that widget/book/record/piece of furniture would come in very handy. And so, the boxes have stacked up to the ceiling. And the books and bookshelves have staged a successful coup in my loft.

And then, I decided to buy a Tiny Home! All at once, a couple of weeks ago. And now I'm looking at fitting myself and my possessions into about 200 square feet of gorgeous converted-trailer heaven.

And so begins The Great De-Stuffing.

I'll be posting about it here. With after photos to take the sting out of the scary before photo above. With descriptions of my precious things and disclosures about what I decide to do with them. Stay tuned!