It is very easy to lose one's sense of perspective
After I wrote yesterday's post, about planning for 2015, I realized just how down on 2014 I was feeling. I assigned it the word heartbreak, talked about mistakes, consequences, struggles.
My feelings about 2014 have been feelings of defeat, disappointment, depression, de-regulation, depletion, and just about every other "de" and "dis" word you can think of.
This is not the way I want it.
Yes, the year contained a lot of stress, sadness and disappointment. Yes, a lot of things didn't go the way I wanted them to. And yes, I wound up feeling pretty awful about myself, about my choices, about EVERYTHING!
And therein lies the problem.
Because that is not the truth.
When I look back over the past year, I can see just as many things that went right as went wrong. Blessings were heaped on me and I accomplished, contributed to and enjoyed a great deal.
So here's a timeline of awesome for 2014:
- Dear friends offered me a place to put my tiny home and have my wired office
- Many friends helped me try to prepare to move my tiny home (albeit unsuccessfully, but that was the weather's fault; sometimes things are simply outside of our control)
- Against all odds, the lovely fellow who created my tiny home succeeded in moving it to its new location
- A close family member made an excellent recovery from a serious health crisis
- I took a bold step by enroling in an online course called Transform Your Relationship with Food; I began to finally make some breakthroughs in an area of my life where I have been stuck for many years
- I moved into my tiny home; my adorable and very beloved cat, Salinger, came to live with me
February and March
- I had lots of work, which was both enjoyable and helped me to financially recover from the work drought I experienced in the summer/fall of 2013
- A number of friends, on a number of occasions, helped me move my things from my rented house to my tiny house
- I helped a friend run the West Dublin Market for another summer; we continued to create something fun and beautiful in our community
April & September
- I emerged from my performance sabbatical, briefly, twice, to play lovely shows with Shawna Caspi, one at Rose & Kettle Concert Sessions and one at the West Dublin Hall
- I helped friends run a concert series that culminated in the Pennybrook Festival in August; the festival was a hoot and all of the music that we brought to the community throughout the summer was excellent
- I met my Dad for a trip to New York City, he treated me to a couple of days of relaxing hotel living, two Broadway shows, gourmet shopping and some great meals; we had a good visit after not having seen each other for a couple of years
- I volunteered as a stage manager at the Harmony Bazaar Festival of Women and Song; I had never stage-managed before — it was a bit nutty, but fun
- I had much more work than I expected; I feel very grateful for ongoing opportunities both to earn money and grow my client base
- I think the weather was nice and I got to go to the beach frequently (September was kind of a write-off; I was pretty depressed and I don't remember much)
- I decided that I didn't have it in me to over-winter in my tiny home; a friend hooked me up with a sweet winter rental
- I realized I was depressed, told folks and received touching support from many people (both expected and wholly unexpected)
- I took steps to devise and implement a plan of self-care; I began to experience some improvements to my mood and health
- The generosity of a family member enabled me to meet my goal to decrease my indebtedness by 12.5%!
- I went to Happy Valley-Goose Bay as one of the visiting artists for the Labrador Creative Arts Festival; an intense, interesting and fun experience
- Almost over (I really don't like December; but it's ALMOST OVER—hooray!)
As we say in my family, "It's all in the way you hold your mouth."
I would rather smile than scowl.
I'm glad I caught myself, became aware of my negativity and took another look at 2014. I find it very comforting that I can see so much good in a year that I found so difficult. I learned a LOT and hopefully those lessons will help me move onward and upward .
I offer up my thanks for the blessings of this past year.
And I look forward to 2015.
Here's a song for moving on with, A Plea from a Cat Named Virtue by The Weakerthans (Listen, all those bitter songs you sing, they're not helping anything. They won't make you strong...):